a week to pray and drink

My work day started with a candlelit prayer service and ended with dick pics and "fuck" spitting out of actors' mouths like a machine gun. It's Institute Week, bitches!

As I've previously mentioned I work for a private Catholic school, if you aren't Catholic (I'm not) you might be surprised to know that they tend to pray then drink, then pray again. I'm the only one surprised? Ok. I'm going to backtrack a bit. 

**Star Wars warp speed thingy that looks like stars are zooming past in streaks**

I originally got my job through a temp agency for creative types, aka, where dreams go to die. I wanted to get a job in Chicago that'd pay (most) of my bills and get me closer to advertising. The agency called me with a job at a Catholic school. I wasn't in a position to let my low-grade fear of Catholicism interfere with getting the fuck out of Michigan, so I said yes to the interview. 

I was late that day, and ran up the school's giant front staircase in oxford heels and a suit only to find out my interview was in the "house" next door. The "house" is a mansion that was built in 1906, but you're not allowed to call it the mansion because that's off-putting and too pretentious for a $20,000 a year school. Number one rule of being around money: don't talk about the money (well, talk about money, but only about how the Anderson's went from being on the Gold donor list for the annual fund and are now only Silver, and apparently the business isn't going so well because they only participated in the silent auction at the gala this year. I mean Margie didn't even touch her paddle during the live auction, only sat there talking to the Goldmans and throwing back chardonnay like it's Tuesday night book club. Also, she hasn't been volunteering in Charles' classroom as much this year, I heard she's working part-time, do you think it's true?!) 

We don't talk about the money because we're here for all the little children. We talk about money because it's for the children.

Within a month of starting the gig I started calling myself "prep school paparazzo" because of the number of times each week I have to shove cameras in kids' faces. And not just any kids - it's my job to find the "diverse" kids, preferably the ones who are cute and obviously "diverse". But not too many because that'd piss off the loudest donors. They want to see their kids, too. Make it 30% obviously "diverse" and 70% not "diverse". 

It's pretty fucking gross. I'm told on a regular basis that I don't get enough photos showcasing "diversity" and I don't care. I'm sick of calling people of color "diverse" in this situation because it feels like exploiting children and the powers-that-be try to sugarcoat it by saying "diverse". Like these children are ponies in a 4H competition. 

The heart and mission of the place are good - being in communications makes me see it all from different angles. The reason behind wanting to have more photos with children of color is to make everyone feel like they can apply to the school and not be excluded. It's a decent thought that is poorly executed. Especially since less than 45% of applicants are accepted and between kindergarten and eighth grade the students of color continuously decreases. I wonder why.